Hatred of Despair
by Stealth Photographer
Summary: They Can't hurt her, but they want to. And that fact is so ephuric.


_**Thoughts are In Italitcs**_

They hated her more than they ever had anybody else. The only thing that would give them true pleasure would be to strike her down where she stood. It wasn't the sexual pleasure they got from feeling despair, (thanks to their brains being rewired) but pleasure they actually wanted to feel. But she had made it so they could never harm her. No matter how much they wanted to, she would always be out of their grasp. That one fact made them fall into despair even more, which in turn gave them euphoria.

Things they once loved didn't give them comfort anymore. They only got it by hurting their loved ones or making them suffer. Even while crying that they didn't want to do it, their will to disobey her commands was weak, and that made become one with despair once again.

Sometimes, tiny blips of memory would fall into place. It was a girl that they wanted to remember, but it was hard putting together the full picture. She had died a horrible death with mercy. Her death was the breaking point, the thing that made them become who they were. If anything, they had to thank her for it.

Mikan remembered that day better than most. She had been one of Junko's first victims of brainwashing, a guinea pig of sorts. Of course, anyone's attention was good attention, no matter how much they degraded her or called her names. Junko loved her. That was how Mikan saw it. When Junko had shown her the video, it was like the thing that was missing had come back to her. Being pushed and kicked and slapped only felt amazing, almost erotic.

It made her think back to the day when she had pushed the girl through the secret passageway. She had stopped the girl, making up some excuse as if that would save her.

"You are a real puzzle to me, Nanami." Mikan had said. Her thoughts only contradicted her real wants and needs. They wouldn't shut up. _Push her through the secret passageway to her demise. _

"You used to be quiet and withdrawn, but you became the center of the class's attention." Mikan's smile wavered when Chiaki gave her a small smile back. _I love her. I don't want her to die, but the thought of it makes me feel so good_. "You are the glue that holds our classroom together, Nanami."

_Chiaki is going to die. You have to save her._ "Please forgive me for this. I'm sorry." Before she could stop herself, Mikan pushed Chiaki through the secret door. Mikan saw Chiaki's eyes glisten with fear as she fell. Then, she was gone. She was crying the whole time, knowing what was coming. But that just made her feel so good.

It wasn't like Nanami was Hiyoko's favorite person. She was okay for a geek. She had to admit she had some good times with her, but she didn't want to watch her die. To watch her suffer, but she was unable to move, unable to do anything about it. The fact that she was unable to help her caused her so much despair. Watching her get hurt like this, made her feel...good.

_I don't want to feel like this_. "Please, I don't want to watch this. Make it stop!" Hiyoko had sobbed, watching tears fall down her hands. _Why do I want to see more of this? My body craves this, but I hate it. I wonder how good it will feel to hurt Koizumi._

_Wait...Why am I thinking like this?_ "Someone, do something!" She had screamed those words before Chiaki had been impaled through the chest with a javelin. She couldn't remember anything else after that.

Peko Pekoyama stood before her new master. She had just slaughtered the people that had raised her, the people that took her in. Sure, she didn't always agree with how they thought, but she had never once objected, never disobeyed. But to turn the tables on them, man...did it feel nice.

The Kuzuryu clan was completely gone, based on the blood that soaked through her clothes. Only she and the young master are left now. Fuyuhiko was truly upset, tears trailing down his cheeks so fast, his heartbeat racing. Peko remembered how he grabbed the collar of her shirt, baring his teeth. She could have sworn he was going to kiss her. Perhaps that was something she had always wanted; for him to kiss her as he meant it, but now she just wanted to make him suffer more.

"What else can I do for you, Master Enoshima?" Peko had asked.

_I want to take this sword and cut off your head, but my arm won't obey me. I can slaughter everyone I once cared for, but the one person I want dead more than anyone...I just can't do it._

The fact she couldn't kill Junko just made her happier. "I want more pleasure. I want to kill my Young Master."

No, no, no. She wanted anything but that. Anything but to kill him, but she couldn't help her own thoughts of desire. Peko got a far off look in her eyes as the thought of him dying made her feel so good.

They all felt that way; not wanting to hurt those they loved, but hurting them anyway. Chiaki Nanami, the person that they all loved was gone forever, and the one they all wanted dead was out of their reach. They couldn't kill her, even if they craved for her blood to spill.

And that felt amazing.


End file.
